I'm becoming more and more uncomfortable with being called 'pastor matt.' Maybe 'uncomfortable' isn't the right word. I guess I just wish I was called 'Matthew.' But it's a tough issue b/c people have a good heart and are just trying to show respect. I just think knocking down the clergy-laity distinction is worth more than getting the respect. I have to agree with Barth who said "the term 'laity' is one of the worst in the vocabulary of religion and ought to be banished from the Christian conversation." And I agree with Dunn when he said the clergy-laity tradition has done more to undermine New Testament authority than most heresies.
Am I OK with being called 'Pastor Matt?' Sure, it's OK. And I realize that some people would feel very uncomfortable just calling me Matthew b/c they have such a high level of respect of the pastoral role. But I have to say that I much more enjoy being called just plain Matthew. In order, I prefer 1) Matthew 2) Pastor Matthew 3) Pastor Matt 4) PM 5) Master Pat 6) Hey Man 7) Matt
8 comments:
i don't think i could ever call you "pastor matthew". I'm surprised 'pastor matt' isn't moved to number 6.
Matthew, I have always called you Matt and now realize you seem to hate it! I will call you Matthew from now on, even though it adds three keystrokes.
I think titles ought to be evident rather than dictative. By that I mean something like a PhD. If you've earned a PhD, it should be evident and you shouldn't need to rely on it. Likewise, if you are a pastor to people, I think that should evident. That denigrates neither the role of professor nor pastor, but elevates the actions, gifts, graces, and abilities that go with them.
Very few here call Justin "Pastor Justin." This used to bother me a lot, but not so much anymore. I think it bothered me because it seemed they were doing it because he's young and this is his first church AND he's a solo pastor. Almost like they didn't HAVE to give him that level of respect. And I suppose I see it as a respect thing (I could never call another pastor by his first name only). Iono tho. Doesn't bother me as much now and Justin not at all. I agree with you on the "laity" term and the separation thing...good point. My 2 cents and experience. Thanks for the comment on my blog, btw.
I second what you and Aaron both said =)
jessica, you may be right. to be honest i just added the last 4 or so to be clever
aaron, i will now remove you from my 'people to kill' list
Jessica, that's interesting that they called him 'justin.' I am surprised my church family calls me pastor matt when they have known me my whole life.
I've never wanted to be called pastor but I though it was neat. Then I stopped thinking it was neat and started not liking it but putting up with it. Now I generally correct people and ask them not to call me that and crack some joke like "It's ok 'gift of hospitality' Doug, you don't have to call me that". I'm against it for the basic reasons you referred to plus Matthew 23:1-12 seems to apply and that's what pushed me over the edge to actually asking people not to call me that (at least when I think of it, I'm not a Nazi about it)
Exceptions:
When someone is speaking about me in a context where there are people who don;t know me or who I am (like Sunday morning). It;s less awkward than saying "AJ who is the pastor here"
When it is used to differentiate me from the guy named AJ who is a worship leader at my church although generally I'm AJ and he get's stuck being called "little AJ" or more preferably just Huffman.
When a parent calls me that as an indication to their child as to how I am to be addressed. It's not that I want kids to call me AJ it just seems disrespectful to correct a parent in front of their children.
Ok, that's enough from me but it is an issue I have opinions on. I think the single greatest strategic move we have made at Deep Water and the one which ultimately has borne the most fruit is a full frontal assault on the lay vs clergy distinction.
I'd say that when someone say, "Hey, Pastor Matt", or whatever, I'd just smiloe a friendly smile and say, "Oh please, call me Matt" (or Matthew)...it's a non-offensive way of letting people feel like they can be comfortable enough to use your first name, because I think the bottom line is that people feel like they are being disrespectful by NOT adding "Pastor" before your name. Just make sure to introduce yourself as Matthew, and let people know that it's okay to call you that.
In my denomination, we call the men in the church "brother." We're supposed to also address the ladies as "sister," but that rarely happens. So the pastor is called Bro. Jim, the deacons are Bro. Raymond, Bro. Walter, and so on. The pastor, who also happens to be my dad, really hates it when he is called "reverend."
First name addressing is only for people who are close to the same age or younger than the addresser. Everyone else has to be titled in some way, be it Ms., Bro., Aunt or whatever. But I think that is a Southern cultural thing.
I feel kind of weird when I get called "Miss Regan" by kids. However, I remember as a kid how weird it felt to be told by adults to call them by their first name, so I don't tell them not to. I figure I will get used to the title after a while... as I get older... and older... and older... :)
I have to confess I find it cool when people call me "Robin-Sensei". But usually I'm just "Robin-san". Everyone has a title in Japan.
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