Monday, October 15, 2007

eHarmony Parody

Tune of ‘Tennessee Christmas’

Come on Doctor Warren, I want my own background so white
Can’t you hear my prayers each time I visit your website?
I have been ball’in, Can’t wait to fall-in
Love with the girl you match with me
Hope it don’t matter, that I’m a distaster
I know you’ll find one to be

My perfect eHarmony Darlin
My eHarmony Girl
My gift from Neil Clark Warren
My one soul-mate in the world
Now I know there’s a lot
Match dot com, hot or not
One True Love and Single C
But when I found the girl of my dreams
I found her on eHarmony

Now it’s four AM, and this screen seems oh so bright
One more click I promise, find a match for me tonight
Holding my breath-in, anticipation
Open my eyes, oh please don’t fail
I have a match now! Hope she ain’t a cow
Time to view match details…

Four days later now, Guided process going great
We like the same ice-cream, this match is obviously fate
Sure, there’s some trouble, looks like Barney Rubble
Though I’m still sure she is a chick
And she’s a bit far, From Madagascar
But something with us just clicks…

Four weeks later now, time for another verse
Things have gone downhill, man, I think I must be cursed
She started fussing, I was too trusting
When I gave her mom’s maiden name
She maxed out my cards, man, this is so hard
But how could I ever blame…

Now it’s been four years, and we finally meet in court
Not an ideal first date, so I hope the trials short
But till I find out, I’ll give a shout out
Thanks to the Doc for coming through
My girl looks straight-forward, but I’m looking toward
Our future with skies so blue

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