10. Kyle Orton- Recently retired, first-hand knowledge of offense
9. Marv Levy- Still living, thus qualified
8. Phil Simms- Clearly a brilliant mind
7. Kyle Chandler- Did great job w/kids on Friday Night Lights
6. Steve Tasker- Just to get him off the CBS broadcast
5. Brian Moorman- We're just gonna mostly punt anyways
4. Pat Lafontaine- Still feel bad about whatever happened
3. NY Times 4th Down Bot- Just let a computer do it
2. Doug Marrone- There's still time to beg
1. Nate Hackett- For obvious reasons
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