Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Rent-a-Kitty

I like kittens. Unfortunately, I pretty much hate cats. I think a lot of people must feel the same way and so I am considering leaving pastoral ministry in favor of a new business idea called 'rent-a-kitty.' Here's the plan: Every time I see 'free kittens' I take them. Then I rent them out to people who only like kittens for $10/month. At the end of 6 months, they can exchange their soon to be cat for a brand new kitten (or, if they have grown attached, they can make a final $100 payment and keep the 'cat') All returning 6 month old cats are used for breeding new kittens and thus expanding my business. I can't see how this plan would fail.

16 comments:

glo said...

Eccept you don't like cats and you would be the one stuck with them when they became cats.

matthew said...

well, i have a feeling 'cats' would be much more tolerable if they were making me hundreds of dollars each week. Plus, if business boomed, i could hire staff to do the dirty work. :)

Jadon & Amberly's Mommy said...

I hate cats.

Bryan said...

Or instead of keeping the grown cats you could also rent them to farmers for mouse control

The Cody's said...

Ok. Great plan. 10 years from now we will be referring to you as "our former pastor the crazy old cat farmer." And as for those old cats.... did you know the chinese word for cat is chi-ken. Food King in Newfane is looking for a new supplier! Can we get in on this new business venture??

Donna & Brandon C

matthew said...

some good ideas here and i've gotten some verbal comments from this post throughout the day. the idea is really picking up steam.

Bryan...thanks for the idea of renting the 'cats' for mouse control. That's just another great line of revenue.

Donna & Brandon...I have mixed feelings about your comment. On the one hand, I am glad to have another option in regards to what to do with all the cats. On the other hand I am not sure I'll enjoy my weekly sesame chicken combination plate tomorrow :(

I Lost You At Hello!!! said...

Matt if it tastes good my philosophy is who cares where it came from and what it is. BTW I'm back and have finally had a real post again. More to follow.

The AJ Thomas said...

1 - I don't see why you can't just kill them when they grow up. They are just cats.

2 - Uless their is a monetary gain like renting then out as mousers or selling them in bulk to crazy old cat ladies. They are on a fixed income and would probably be interested in bulk pricing.

3 - WHat I love abut chinese food is that I get a delicious meal and a cat dies. It's like 2 for 1.

4 - You could always chop up the adult cats and feel them to the kittens. SOYLENT GREEN IS KITTIES, SOYLENT GREEN IS KITTIES!!! That would make for some sweet feline sci-fi.

matthew said...

Kirk & AJ

I don't know if I've ever told you this, but you 2 are like 27th and 32nd on my hero rankings. You say what I've always wanted to say but am afraid to say because nice old grannies from our congregation might be more internet savvy than i imagine!

I bet kittens would love to eat cats. After all, cats give kittens a bad name. Cats make people afraid to own (or lease!) adorable kittens. Plus, Mama cats constantly lick kittens, I'd be so annoyed by that.

glo said...

Okay totally creeped out now

Jadon & Amberly's Mommy said...

Morbid!

jessica said...

i like kittens and cats. so you can send your unwanted cats to me... provided i have both a lease and roommate that are not allergic to them.

Jecca said...

yeah, this is just awful!!! i'd almost rather have a cat than a kitten because kittens cause tons of damage.


but i will give you credit for the renting idea. it's pretty smart.

matthew said...

rent-a-puppy is also in the works

But I don't need any suggestions for what to do with them when they become dogs. I'm just going to give them to Michael Vick.

Jan said...

Ok Matthew, As your mom I have to ask that this topic be closed- I think I might be one of those 'nice old grannies from your congregation' I am shocked and appalled!

Hey. Its lauren said...

Michael Vick ... HAHA