Many aliens read my blog. What I mean is, I get many more visitors than comments. This doesn't bother me, but it does make me curious as to what type of 'aliens' are reading, but not commenting. Here are the possibilities:
1. Antagonistic Alien (upper-left)
Some of my reading regulars don't like me. Maybe they're trying to catch me blogging something that they can use against me. Maybe they arrived here via a link on a message board where they disagree with me on a regular basis. Well, feel free to disagree in comment format. Don't lurk in the shadows, but also don't be surprised when I fight back like Will Smith in Independence Day (had to connect this to July 4th somehow).
2. Local Aliens (upper-middle)
Some of my readers are like Alf: Present, but not quite part of the family. Maybe you're here on a daily basis, but you haven't commented b/c you're afraid your cat-eating habit will keep you an outsider. Listen, I don't like cats either, join the discussion!
3. Indignant Aliens (upper-right)
Some of you are like Worf from Star Trek. You're generally a nice person, but you've got a chip on your shoulder. Maybe you don't comment b/c I've never named you the 'Blogger of the Month.' Don't be bitter, you probably just stink at blogging. Comment instead, perhaps I'll name you 'Commenter of the Month!'
4. Elect Aliens (bottom-left)
Some of you are here because I brought you here with my superb writing skills and unmatched consistency. My 'irresistible grace,' so to speak, prompts your presence on a regular basis. But maybe you're afraid to comment because I'm so super and you're just a plastic toy in a quarter machine. Fear not! The same one who chose you is able to equip you to comment.
5. Needy Aliens (bottom-middle)
Some of my readership simply use me for my link list. They need help like E.T. Specifically, they needed a list that would allow for speedy & efficient blog travel and I provided such a service. But alas, such a service isn't free. From now on I require all such 'users' to pay of tax of 1 comment each week.
6. Supernatural Aliens (bottom-right)
Some of my readers are like angels. They just visit my blog because they like the owner. They read and comment regularly. If you've made it this far into this bizarre post, you're probably this type of alien!