Saturday, October 23, 2004

Blame Bush

President Bush did not comment Thursday regarding his role in the hurricanes that have been relentlessly attacking Florida. Republican bias in the media has been on full display this week as no one has dared to ask the daunting, although completely legitimate question concerning the connection between the Bush administration and the terrible storms.

The Republican scheme is far clearer than the Floridian skies these days. Hurricanes destroy the homes of low-income families. Low-income families tend to vote Democrat. While democratic voters are hard at work rebuilding their Bush-whacked lives, the November election will take place without a hitch. Rich republicans, having no trouble recovering from the devastation because of the tax breaks Bush gave them, will flock to the voting booths. Bush will win hands down while democratic hands are hard at work.

As icing on the cake, Gov. Jeb Bush will come out of this smelling like Roses. He will use his relationship with the President to acquire federal aid that is sure to attract undecided voters. Jeb gains popularity in preparation for a 2008 Presidency. Bush wins Florida and a 2004 re-election.

Speculation continues as to how Bush has gained control of the world’s weather. Some believe he is utilizing global warming to produce a unique atmosphere in the southeast air. Others theories are more provocative, up to and including the possible use of satanic powers. Democrats, meanwhile, have remained bipartisan by admitting they do not believe Bush is actually the anti-Christ.

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